Why do I always feel worse, not better after seeing my doctor? Is it just me, or do others feel this way?
Today I had a fairly routine appointment, something I had scheduled a few weeks back on advice from my specialist. At the time of booking I had given a detailed description of the appointment to the receptionist, and had thought nothing more. Perhaps it’s my naivety, but I’m not a trained medical professional, and I go to the service to seek advice and support.
At this appointment today, I was let down, made to feel like a school child, and just plain incompetent about my own situation. It was upsetting and frustrating, as I got no solution, only a lecture on my own specialists’ incompetence and basically a shrug of the shoulders.
My GP knows my detailed history, has seen my story through numerous referrals and specialist assessments, and she must know by now, that this is a very sensitive subject for me. Yet each time I sit in her uncomfortable wooden chair, I seem to get an air of indifference, and I feel the need to justify my own position. It’s just exhausting, and I find myself now looking for excuses to avoid further appointments.
For those who have read my memoir, ‘Finding the Rainbow’, or at least plan to, you will understand my irritation with the health service. I’m not saying that anything is meant to be perfect, I realise that no one has all the answers, but it feels at times that there is a lack of human empathy in the public service, and don’t patients deserve more? Even more frustrating, is that where I live, there is a registration process, and unless you are willing to pay big money to go private, you can’t just switch GP’s with the snap of a finger.
So what can I do?
I can blog about it… If nothing else, it helps to place words on paper, therapeutic even. Sometimes we have to face annoyances and defeat, but in the end we can’t let one person, one experience, bring us down. That’s the message I keep telling myself, and it somehow makes me feel better… eventually!
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