One word that maddens me is ‘failure’.
I was talking to someone the other day about my own situation, the fact that I had experienced miscarriage and that I was exploring my infertility, and I was asked this question.
‘Why do you think your pregnancy failed?’
The definition of ‘fail’ is to prove deficient or lacking; perform ineffectively or inadequately. I certainly don’t feel deficient, and I don’t feel that my uterus failed me either. It tried. Those little pregnancies worked their hardest to survive, but alas it wasn’t their time. I’ve accepted that, and I understand that not everything was meant to be easy, and sometimes we need to fight hard for what we truly want.
I guess I see failure as defeat, and I don’t feel defeated. I feel challenged. Challenged to try something different, keep moving on with new options, learn from my experiences, and hopefully one day I will get my ‘rainbow baby’.
Regardless of where I end up on this fertility road, I will keep moving forward with my life, my adventures and my focus will always remain the same – being happy, healthy and positive.
I believe we make choices with our lives, and the obstacles we face along the way. My personal choice was to find something out of this experience, and it helped me to write about it, share my circumstances. Right choice or wrong choice, it was the path I chose, and I’m determined to head in that direction.
The word failure doesn’t even come into my vocabulary because success is what you make of your choices, and I choose to live life and find new opportunities.
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