Stopping the Race

This week has been a little rougher than most, testing my fragility and my ultimate quest to be optimistic. It made me reflect on how I feel about my own situation and my strength to keep going. As a women struggling with fertility, I have moments where I struggle to breathe with the thought that my quest to become a mother may never be fulfilled.

Nonetheless the week is almost done, the sun is coming out, and I’m still determined to stay away from that dark cloud that frequently haunts me.

It is ok to be sad sometimes…

Sometimes we need to take time out for our emotions, allow ourselves to heal. There are moments where I need time and space to reflect on what life has dealt, no matter how much I try to put a brave face on or smile with the masses. What is important is how I pick myself up and get myself through the ‘sadness’. The world is full of possibilities and new ways of dealing with setbacks; I just need to find an alternative route.

There is always a way through the cloud…

It may not be the outcome I had originally dreamed of, but there are endless possibilities, and so many alternative options; I just need to be prepared to start again. It seems at times that everyone around me is at that penultimate finish line – they have had successful pregnancies, babies, multiple babies – and me, I’m still running, left behind, and that finish line seems further away with each step forward. Then I ask myself, why am I running?

There is no race to be won here…

This is not a competition and I am only running against my own expectations. So now it’s time to catch aFinish line breath, slow the pace and refocus my energy towards that end goal. . I remind myself of what is important to me – myself, my sanity, my relationship and my friends.   The finish line is there in front of me, I’m just running a little further than I had expected.


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