What if we talked about Miscarriage?

1 in 4 img_3767Look around you.

Think about your friends, your colleagues and even your family members. Statistics say that approximately 1 in 4 couples deal with infertility. That is most likely someone you already know, yet you may not be aware of it.

Miscarriage and infertility is a disease. It is a condition that many people all around us are experiencing every day; yet most face the problem in isolation. The frustrations and pressure of trying to conceive, the hopelessness of infertility and the tragedy surrounding early pregnancy loss is a world that is all consuming to many couples. Yet many couples attempt to maintain a normal existence whilst dealing with such challenges, pretending that all is well in their world when clearly this is not the case.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

Should you injure yourself, become unwell or unfortunately lose a loved one, we would normally talk about it. In these situations we often seek solace with those we love and trust, even sharing such experiences with colleagues at work. We let people know when we are in pain or we are sick in most cases, yet the subject of miscarriage and infertility still imposes a level of unease and social awkwardness.

So why are we uncomfortable talking about fertility?

Whilst many praise me for my courage in writing a personal memoir and sharing my story, I am also aware that a lot of people wonder how I could be so very open and candid about my losses. They even suggest that I am over-exposing myself by sharing my most intimate experiences with this fertility journey.

Writing about my story certainly hasn’t been easy!

Whilst some people read my memoir and blogs with respect, it still doesn’t spark a level of comfort in openly sharing fertility stories. Talking about ‘infertility’ or ‘miscarriage’ with candidness is only recently getting more public opinion. This is a journey of change for women and couples, and there is a need to build more awareness to help others beginning their journey, to help them understand there options early.

Still, there is a hesitation; a fear of shame or failure associated with infertility.

Removing the stigma surrounding infertility and pregnancy loss is important. There is still an expectation that you need to grieve in silence and just carry on with life as if it never really happened. Hiding early pregnancy, avoiding questions, brushing off comments around family and children, and even deceiving friends and family into believing that all is well, is a full time job! Don’t these actions only create further isolation and frustration?

What would actually happen if we spoke about it openly?

You never know, by talking about it, you may just help someone else who is feeling the exact same way. Helping and connecting with others can sometimes start with just one person breaking the silence.

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