Last week I was with my specialist, this week I’m in the sunshine. A contrast certainly but it was important for me to time this holiday accordingly. Time to reflect and decide….
So first of all we did have good news. My medical situation has been solved (so far), and now we just need to let the dust settle and hopefully nature will take its course. Now, unfortunately as my specialist advises, my age is my biggest issue. I’ve just turned thirty-nine and so apparently the chances of miscarriage become even greater as that big four-zero looms! After four miscarriages, how much more can I deal with?
Yet I’m not so sure. He says, all things considered, that a natural pregnancy is still achievable, but he advises strongly to pursue the extensive –and expensive- option of filling me full of stimulants, egg retrieval and so forth. I just wonder how much more my body can sustain; we can sustain, given everything we have been through so far.
I hold strong admiration for those women who have endured multiple IVF rounds, what they have physically and mentally experienced, and perhaps that scares me. What if it fails?
I truly understand that IVF can potentially offer us some guarantees when it comes to our family plans, and I’m certainly not counting it out. But when he tells me that we ‘can fall pregnant naturally’, am I crazy to want to pursue that option first?
Perhaps I’m being stubborn, or perhaps selfish; maybe just afraid, but I am erring towards Mother Nature first and foremost. Que sera sera? Not so sure now!
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