Tis the Season

Does the festive season reinforce your struggles with fertility and the lack of options when it comes to starting a family?

Sometimes it really hurts. Over time I have seen many babies born and throughout the years I have observed them develop into toddlers and young children. I have watched their development as little people from afar, and yet I am still desperately trying to start my own parenting journey.kids-decorating-christmas-tree

This morning, as I drove to work, listening to the morning radio, my heart felt heavy listening to the excited young child callers, all full of excitement about Christmas, decorating their trees and of course Santa’s big arrival. It made me crave the children I have lost on this journey, and potentially the ones I may never have.

As a child I was completely in love with Christmas; it was my favourite time of the year. It still is! As an adult I had dreamt of conjuring those feelings and experiences within my own children; hoping to one day watch the pure delight upon their young faces on Christmas morning as they gathered around the Christmas tree to enjoy the true spirit of the day.

We have now spent three Christmas’ as hopeful parents, and this has been a difficult journey each time. Whilst I am hopeful that next year we will celebrate the season as parents, the reality is that dreams of hiding presents, leaving notes for Santa and filling a tree full of toys for our own child may never come true.

In the true spirit of Christmas, I want to acknowledge those couples who continue to face these struggles, who potentially feel a little empty at this time of year, like a piece of them is missing. Santa cannot leave what they want under the tree; if only it were that easy.

To the many hopeful parents out there, I wish you a merry Christmas, and let us hope and pray that the New Year brings us all baby dust and rainbows!

Finding the Rainbow – My Memoir

  3 comments for “Tis the Season

  1. paolabranasborn
    December 1, 2015 at 6:36 AM

    Lovely words, yes I felt that way, I could only imagine what it would be like felt so far away… then they came. Hang in there Rachel may 2016 be your year!

  2. Kym
    December 1, 2015 at 10:22 AM

    This post brought tears to my eyes Rachey. I’m praying you will fall pregnant soon & at long last, have a successful pregnancy. All the best my gorgeous friend xoxo

  3. Rachel
    December 1, 2015 at 10:46 PM

    I do know how much Christmas means to you Rachel and it is my fervent hope that you will be able to share the joy with your child in the Christmases of the future. Love you lots xxx

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