It was twelve months ago exactly that my world completely changed. Twelve months today I took that test – the test – that has given me my long awaited baby boy!
I remember that day so clearly, like it was just yesterday. On a whim I decided to ‘pee on a stick’, cynically telling myself I was being silly. We had stopped ‘consciously trying’. I say consciously because no infertile couple really ever stops trying. However, as a couple, we had come to the conclusion that it most likely wasn’t going to happen for us, and so we had taken our foot off the pedal.
When that stick flashed up with a positive result, I thought my heart would stop, and I remember my husband’s reaction when I showed him the result. “How? What? How?” His wide eyes just looked at me, a few days before Christmas, as he registered what it meant.
Our special Christmas surprise!
However, we didn’t pin our hopes on a happy ending at the time, and given our history we tried to remain realistic but we were still hopeful of what might be.
We did have a very rocky start, which exacerbated our fears of the past repeating itself. However, as each week progressed, and milestones were reached, our confidence started lifting – perhaps the little fighter growing inside my belly might just be…
Today, I couldn’t be happier, as I prepare to celebrate our first Christmas together as a family. If anything, the past twelve months have shown me that we should never lose hope. Infertility can be a real bitch, many couples are still fighting the battle, and I feel for them, as it is a hard, uphill journey that often has zero rewards.
So this Christmas I have only one wish. I wish for the same ‘Christmas Surprise’ to be bestowed on another deserving couple. Or more, I hope that the Christmas season brings many surprises for those fighting the infertility battle.
Never give up. Remain hopeful. But most of all, be kind to yourself!